Saturday, October 5, 2024

Lost.

 Bismillah 


It had been a very long while since I ever write anything.


I am recovering from flu, alhamdulillah 

Past week had been exhausting, but productive. Alhamdulillah 

Last weekend I went back to KL with Mek/Klong/KJah and the boys on Sunday noon (yup, planned to leave after breakfast but there were EMOT till almost 5am) 

Monday morning - I brought mek to Hospital Banting with ayah for ECHO and to arrange Holter (Thanks a lot Jason!)

On Monday night - I took bus back to TM - it wasn't the best journey ever. Had ache everywhere but now looking back, probably it was the start of my flu and I was having myalgia. 


Throughout the week, I was watching K-drama after work and sometimes till late night (I know I shouldn't sacrifice my sleep) but it was just irresistible. 


The title of the series was: Twenty Five Twenty One 


I never thought that there will be a movie/series that would make me cry more than "A walk to remember".


And yup, I never rooted for hero and heroine as much as I do for this series- and sadly they didn't end up together t.t They really brought out the best in each other. <3


Here are some of the lessons I learned from this movie: 

i-Progress is not an upgoing slope. Or the exact words were: 

ii-Skills don't improve every single day. They're like steps on stairs - there are times we go up (get better) and there are times we are stagnant. And most people will want to quit in this stagnant phase, because they think they are going nowhere. In fact, they are yet to become better. If one persevere, s/he will break through and improve. 

iii-Love should bring the best in each other. You want to see your lover grow stronger, be better and be the best version of themselves. And by seeing them grow, it makes you want to grow as well.

iv-Authenticity can be its own kind of power. As long as you put your heart into it- with passion and hard work, in the right way, nothing can stop you. 

iv-Hurtful truth hurts, even more if it is coming from the people we love, but that doesn't mean we should ignore it and push it away.  Embracing it will get us stronger, confronting it will clear the confusion or murkiness amongst us. 

v- Believe you can. That is one thing that will pull you through even when you feel that you are against all odds. 


Anyway, here are some quotes I gotten from the internet (https://korean-binge.com/2022/02/14/100-quotes-twenty-five-twenty-one-2022/)


-We do have strength inside each and every one of us. So let's allow ourselves to be as frustrated as we want. Let's be as sad as we want. And let’s get back up together.” – Na Heedo


“Don’t ever forget how you earned a new opportunity. Whenever you’re having a hard time, remind yourself how difficult it was to start.”- Coach


“The tougher things are, the busier you need to be. You need to laugh in order to forget more quickly. And you need to forget in order to survive.” – Coach Kang


“Our friendships are always excessive, we’re helpless in the face of love, and our failures are passionate. Anxiety, grief, jokes, and smiles come together to form a strange and irregular shape. Perhaps we’re currently standing at the center of our youths.” – Back Yijin


“When you try hard, it makes me want to try hard, too. When you accomplish something, it makes me want to accomplish something. You make other people do well, not just yourself.” – Back Yijin


“I’m going to give my all tomorrow. But you’re not the reason why I’m going to give my all. I’ll give it my all for myself. Because only I know how hard I’ve tried.” – Na Heedo



“It feels better when I turn my tragedy into a comedy.” – Na Heedo


“I heard that every tragedy in life is a comedy if you see it from afar.” – Back Yijin


“At times when I didn’t believe in myself, I believed in you who believed in me. That made things possible.” – Na Heedo


“I don’t understand you. I simply accept you.” – Baek Yijin


“You should also meet someone like that. Someone that inspires you to improve just by being together.” – Yijin’s mom


“What shocked me wasn’t mom’s love story, but her efforts. Her efforts that only she knew about. I saw how hard she worked rather than her glamor for the first time.” - Min Chae



Thursday, June 6, 2024

of relapses and remissions

 I was just telling myself : Life always has its way to tease you at your sore spot. 

and to add to that: and it often happens when you just about to feel things are going right. 

I guess it is The Almighty's way to remind you that your life is only for Him. 

and your ultimate aim is the Hereafter - which will last for eternity. 


Just like relapses and remissions. 

Ups and downs in life. 

There are times you were defeated - by circumstances, by fate, by diseases. Just like when someone has relapses. I am sure no one wants any calamity to befall them. 

And then we get better. We get stronger. We become wiser. Things are better. 

For a while. 

Then there will be challenges again. And perhaps I realised this too late - that this cycle will never end. 

"This too shall pass". 

Either by good moments followed by terrible ones, or vice versa. 

Often I felt defeated - totally. And I feel like giving up. But then I realised I have no way to go - except giving my best. That I can only do my best not to let life beats me down. Until I have my last breath. 

Life is hard. So be it. 

Life is unfair. Since when this world is just? 

Life is tiring. Don't we age by living? 

But life is also full of vigour. 

Life is also beautiful. 

Life also throws things that make you smile. 

So let's be grateful over those :) 

After all, we all were looking for that beautiful ending. 

So may all of us are granted with beautiful patience. 


Assassination classroom; Koro-sensei



Wednesday, July 12, 2023

Proud

 Many people told me that they are proud of my achievements, especially over my recent success on passing my defense. Of course, there are still many more hurdles in future, but at least I am one step closer now.

But what I don't understand is that I don't feel proud at all. Relieved, definitely. It had been a long struggle since I started, so yes, definitely relieved. Should I be proud of myself? 

Honestly, I am lost. 

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