to wage a war

bismillahirrahmanirrahim

It had been a while since I last made an entry. Indeed, procrastination is a thief of time. I had been wanting to write for more than a month but I had not done so until now.

Short entry this is, about a war. With an opponent we know best but often we lost the battle. Ourselves.

The best strategy is to know your opponent. And no one knows us more than ourselves. Right? (I mean human beings, the Almighty know even know the future, He is closer to us than the jugular vein - please refer 50:16)

The irony is, why do we still lose? I mean, myself.

I had a long list of to-do but I did only some. I spent much of my energy and time on 'rest and leisure'. I am still learning to push myself out of the comfort zone. To go beyond my capability. To get myself grilled and baked. I am so sorry that I did not do much for others. I had to. I had to. I had to. Please help me :'(

By the way, this entry is as a reminder for myself. So I won't be a lousy person. I am a person full of commitment and I am committed to my duties.

Few quotes as a reminder:

Untuk berusaha semampunya dengan sepenuh kudrat yang dikurnakan-Nya bukan mencari alasan semampunya.

The best of people are those that bring the most benefit to the rest of mankind- Muhammad p.b.u.h. (Daratquni, hasan)

"We need an intellectual jihad: clarifying our terminology, understanding both our texts and context, reconciling our words and behaviour" - Prof Tariq Ramadan

"Islam is about reconciliation. Reconciling the self with the essential self, conscience with fitra, mind with heart… the path to peace" - Prof Tariq Ramadan

Definition of reconcile: 1]Make (one thing) compatible with (another) 2]Bring into consonance or accord [WordWeb dictionary]

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biarkan ia berlalu

bukan mudah nak melalui hidup
apatah lagi nak mengharungi kepayahan yang ada padanya

mudah untuk berpesan
payah untuk melakukan

tidak mudah untuk menjadi pendengar setia
perit lagi untuk menjadi pembimbing akal dan jiwa

tatkala diajukan soalan
berkenaan masalah hidup
baik keluarga, perhubungan, persahabatan, kewangan atau apa pun jua

mudah benar diri berkata
sabarlah, Allah kan ada
sabarlah, jalan keluar pasti akan terbuka
sabarlah, keadaan akan menjadi baik jua

mudah benar diri memberikan contoh
insan lain yang lebih perit
insan lain yang terseksa akibat peperangan
insan lain yang hidup bagaikan tiada lagi tujuan

tapi diri ini
Allah, kerdilnya sungguh
lemahnya amat
hinanya tak terucap

"jangan sesekali nak benchmark saya dengan orang lain!"

tidak bermaksud begitu
asalnya bertujuan untuk memberi semangat
dan kekuatan
agar timbulnya keinginan untuk hidup
agar tegarnya pengharapan pada-Nya

jadi aku membisu
kerana otakku seakan membeku
tindakanku menjadi kaku

aku tak berniat untuk menjauh
cuma aku takut andai kau menjauh akibat perbuatanku
aku tidak takut andai kau menjauh dariku
aku cuma tidak mahu kau menjauh dari-Nya

maaf, aku cuma tidak tahu
dan tidak mampu

Allah, ampunkan aku dan dirinya
pelihara kami ya Allah,
lindungi kami ya Allah.

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to face the horror

bismillahirrahmanirrahim

Peace and grace be upon Allah the almighty

alhamdulillah, now I am in my final year =)
this doesn't come cheap, it comes with lots of horror as well
haha
and I think, the lecturers are at the top of those horror.
even more haha :D
well, I know to be afraid of them is funny or perhaps inappropriate
but, when they were fierce, we would not want to be their prey right?
I realize that I am becoming more timid each day
Perhaps having inferior complex as well
o.O
I hope and I will try my best not to be afraid unnecessarily and try my best to answer questions after deep thought :)
O Allah, do grant my teachers with Your blessings and kindness, for through them, You grant me part of Your knowledge

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