This is among the
few that may not be uplifting. I am sorry for such an entry but it is for me to
acknowledge my own limitations and setbacks. I think I did it best in writing,
so it seems.
There are just times
when you are above the sky, feeling great, awesome and happy. Just like Alice
in the wonderland. Everything seemed so easy and went on smoothly. You are able
to do things well, every difficulties were dealt with very efficiently and all
the bad things people did to you just flew by without affecting you. These
moments are what I called 'awesomeness which has no limits'. Just like parents
and teachers :)
Just like light have
darkness, so does everything else.
There are times when
you felt you had nothing firm to hold on. You are swaying and about to fall.
You are lost but you found everyone else had their path before them and about
to depart. Unfortunately, their path are not for you to take. You may or may not
try your best to find what is meant for you. But more and more shortcomings set
in. The more you try, the harder you fall. Still, you are not letting yourself
lie down forever so you stand up again but the cycle repeated itself. In short,
you are lost, could not find you own way when everyone else has theirs and you
are fighting a losing battle. You lost your strength and your courage and faith
are draining away. These moments are what I called 'gloomy black hole'.
The least that I
could do is to keep on looking for motivation and support. I am truly sorry to
those around me who had to suffer with my bad attitude and performance
throughout those gloomy episodes. And I really owe you people for supporting me
^.^ Motivation never lasts so we need to look for it everyday. Most
importantly, though this is already a cliché, never lose faith and hope in the
Almighty.
