2023

 2023

Alhamdulillah it is a new year.

I started the year with not many resolutions in my mind. 

There were very few in fact.

-Getting my thesis done.

-Passing my masters- and everything that comes with it.

-And at some corner of my heart- finding a partner🙈 (but of course, I never said this out loud). 

My boss called me and asked - what’s your resolution for this year Fatimah?

Then I said nothing much, I just wanna pass my masters.

Hmmmm, that’s nothing wrong with that. But you should add memorising one surah per month. Even the short ones.

That felt like a slap on my face.

Because I really didn’t make any resolution pertaining to my spiritual health.

But I am glad my boss reminded me about that.

Honestly, I had not been working on that (this is a reminder for you to start working, self!)

The first week of the year was stressful - I had to defend my thesis project (not the final viva, but this evaluation would decide whether or not I could proceed with the project). 
There were multiple meetings with my supervisors - a lot of amendments and corrections each time. The final one just few days before the presentation - I guessed my Prof could see the frustration on my face. She told me: "Fatimah, I'd rather drill you now and get you prepared before you got drilled by the panel and affect the outcome of your assessment". Her statement was an eye-opener. As much as I was tired by the 'never-ending' corrections - they were actually for my betterment. 

But I think the best part of preparing for that evaluation - the fact that I found someone to be my confidant all along. Someone who is not really funny, but definitely sweet and pleasant and had been a great listener. I'll definitely pray for our future together. InsyaAllah. And he made me feel like the last resolution is doable this year 🙈.  Please pray for us - in this dunya and akhirah. 

May this year and the coming years are filled with lots of love, deeds and patience for all of us. May Allah guide us to His blessings, love and forgiveness. May Allah grant us the best of rizq which are full of barakah to all us, which will bring us closer to Allah and becomes a means for us to Jannah. <3

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Setbacks

 

There will be times in our life that things just go smoothly. As we had wished and planned. 

What we need comes at the right time, the right people lent their hand at the perfect moment. 

Things just go as it was 'meant to be' (by our definition). 

But that weren't all. Life wouldn't be fun if all there is right? 

There are times that things get hard. 

What you hoped for didn't materialize. 

The 'one thing' you need to make it happen just didn't appear making all of it futile. Or so you think. 

I thought my progress had been ok. 

Maybe not excellent. But ok. Acceptable. 

But that was what I thought. 

The higher-ups didn't think so. I am not up to par. Lacking confidence. 

What went wrong, self? 

Where was your enthusiasm? 

Where your curiosity went? 

Maybe your perseverance weren't enough? Or is it working against your favour now? 

Maybe kindness is placed where it shouldn't be. 

I am not sure what went wrong. 

I just know I need to stop being hurtful to myself. 

Dear self, this too shall pass. 

And you shall go through it well, ok? Coz I love you <3

#29012023

#loveyou

#agiidupagingelaban

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