Monday, December 8, 2014

the secret to keep going on

بسم الله الرحن الرحيم

Alhamdulillah, now I had gone through three months of my housemanship. It wasn't easy and full of dry tears :) Many at times, I had to drag myself going to work, not to abandon my responsibility, to carry out my duty. In a way, you would picture it as something I do because it is obligatory. I wouldn't deny that to an extent. Each day that passes highlighted my shortcomings, be it in knowledge, skill or ability. And for every highlight, it can be very demotivating, devastating, draining every strength and emotion I had left at that moment. Yet, like someone told me, there is always room for improvement, that is why no one is perfect. Some people are so strong, able to go on very positively, looking forward to each day. Unlike me, waiting for the day to pass, dreading for tomorrow. I am that weak and fragile. That's why I sought for strength from Him and through the people He sent around me :)

There were many times when nurses shouted at you; well, you are such a junior stupid doctor anyway. Many more times when you were blamed for others' faults and yet nothing you can say since you are meant to be the punching bag after all. But there are precious few times that gives encouragement that lasts. No matter how simple it is. A patient's smile. A simple 'good job' by your boss. When your boss entrusted you with a task, knowing that you can do it. When a patient personally requested for you to prick him/her. When a patient prayed for you. When you exchange glances and smiles with your equally exhausted colleagues. A simple text from you old friend. A mere smiley through whatsapp. And many more bigger things. The most special of all - my ohana =). Thank you Allah for everything. Thank you sooo much. Thank you for giving me the strength to keep going on ^.^

p/s: life is not meant to be the way we want it, but we are meant to live the best that we can!

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