With the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful.
It had been long since I had ever written anything. Or perhaps since I took time to actually jot down the words that came across my mind. Maybe because it’s too overwhelming? Or maybe it’s just because I wanna let it out somehow. Whether or not did anyone bother, it doesn’t matter.
I moved here, to this place, for quite some time already, over a year actually, close to fifteen months to be exact. Beautiful place, wonderful people, nice food. Full stop. Ain’t that sound perfect already?
It is. But this ungrateful side of me always long for more. Somehow, you don’t feel like you fit in somehow. That you, trying so hard to be ‘included’ that automatically makes you ‘excluded’. So much of drama right?
And I thought that was all. My struggle stops there. At least that was what I thought. Until the fog is clearing off, and it dawned upon me now that this distance I thought I can handle is a bit to much. Way too much in fact. The fog that had been obscuring the view had actually done me good. People say that ignorance is a bliss. Indeed it is. I tried to clear off the fog and it kind of backstabbed me now. Way too metaphorical ain’t it? Purposely made it that way.
Maybe I had forgotten about Al Wakeel and now He is trying to remind me of that.
O Allah, guide me to the right path, do not let me go astray. Grant me the patience to persevere through this life and bestow upon me the peace and the serenity, sakinah in which only You can place in our hearts.
People told me, if you never voice it out, no one would ever knew and give response to that.
But now I feel, words that were kept inside, could have given you more peace than spoken words in which you wish no one could’ve ever heard.
Beautiful patience is not simple.
0 comment(s):
Post a Comment