A few weeks had passed.
I had a good start to the year. Little did I know that ugly, terrible things were to follow. Don't judge me. I am writing this out as an effort to let go and move on.
A tragedy happened that shook me to the core. Something that made me question myself, lose trust in others and more importantly, something that I am trying to stop doing - blame myself. It had been about a month. It is over, yes. But the repercussions remain. LOL. And it will for about ten years or so.
I still question myself why I did what I did. Because retrospectively, it was unbelievably foolish. And the more I think about it, the harder it is for me to forgive myself.
The wise sorcerer told me to reflect on this matter - and learn from it, and know more about myself. Surely, there is a lesson behind it. And like any other life lessons, until it was learned, it shall happen again - perhaps in different ways, who knows?
That was the hardest part of it - reflect on it and learn from the lesson. Because it hurts. I had been trying to forget it, numbed myself to it, as a way for me to be able to carry out my daily life, work on what I need to do. And enjoy what people call the present moment. I am yet to succeed so far. But hey, that doesn't mean I should stop right?
Hope things will get better for all of us :)
Love you, let's not make life difficulties stop us from being kind.
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