What's your pace?

Few days back I went to buy food, with my mini-me(my niece) tagging along. After a while, she bugged me to go home. Still having to buy her brother's chicken rice, I paced up, to me it was just brisk walking but she was almost running, and she did that unhesitatingly, without complaining. Despite of her small steps, doing her best to keep up to my pace. I couldn't help but to relate that to my job. Us, being the mere immature, clueless, almost inexperienced, with barely much knowledge, came into the working life, like kiddies. Our steps are small, very much immature. Yet we tried to keep up, though it means running. Some are at advantage, those with larger steps(some of us have more experience than others - like my friends who diligently and tirelessly went to wards and clinics to learn when we were students. Of course, they're at much more advantage compared to me), or perhaps those who have senior colleagues who are very much willing to tell where are the potholes so we could avoid them, where are the slippery road so won't trip and fall. Nevertheless, we do learn through the hard way too. So much to describe on that, so I'll just pass.

As the title goes, what is your pace? And would it ultimately matter? Very subjective ain't it? Anyway, I would say that it is better to have someone who keeps on going despite of the pace (which would be very much influenced by many other factors) rather than someone who *deliberately* dragged others down. And I ain't saying about those whom fate had decided that their path would be a rocky one. Who I meant by those who *deliberately* dragged others would be those who are fortunate enough to get the job but perhaps their vocabularies don't include responsibility, trust, reliance and selflessness. O Allah, do protect me, my family and those around me from such terrible character. 

*the above was written long way back and is only edited and published now. 

Just to remind myself, here are words of your own dear: 

"Tire remains a mere word as long as you have passion and perseverance in what you are doing".

"O you who have believed, persevere and endure and remain stationed and fear Allah that you may be successful"

"Wahai orang-orang yang beriman! Bersabarlah kamu dan kuatkanlah kesabaran kamu, dan bersedialah serta bertaqwalah kamu kepada Allah supaya kamu berjaya mencapai kemenangan"

(Ali Imran 2: verse 200)

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Rehearsal

A horizon of clouds.
-endless it is.

I wondered what have I done to myself.
I am placing limits to my own ability and accomplishments.
I stopped trusting myself.
I became so timid and everything just became habitual. Rigid. Soulless.
And when something unexpected happened, I lost it.
The sanity. The composure.
I became like a kite without a string.

And this horizon of clouds strike me hard.
Their endless pure whiteness that is beyond touch.
Reminding me of what we all actually worth.
Unlimited.
Unrestrained.
It is just up to us.
Are we up to it?
Am I ready for life?
Regardless, this life has no rehearsals.

28th July 2018

Travelling is really an eye opener. Perhaps for the soul too. 😍

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The Mud and The Rain

With the Name of Allah, the Most Beneficent, the Most Merciful

"If you prayed for rain, you got to deal with the mud too"
-The Equalizer.

The moment I heard this quote I was like "Wow!". But the moment it strikes me in real life, it is just surreal man. It is like "Wow, it's just wow!".

Everyone always has different perceptions. On many things. Depending on the culture, upbringing, environment, etc. Likewise, you and I would have different perception on The Rain and The Mud themselves. And we would pray for the rain for different reasons.

A farmer would have prayed for the rain so that it will water his plants and he will get lots of crops. A playful girl like me would want the rain so I can play in the rain. As much as we prayed for the rain, we never knew what kind of rain it would be. And so much we wanted for it, we would have expected the outcome - The Mud.

The things is, The Mud could have just been a puddle by the road. Or perhaps a bit more that would soil your shoes/pants/vehicle. Err, but it still could be a mud flood right? Who knows?

And when the mud flood came, don't blame the nature. You have prayed for the rain, remember? Deal with it.

You have enjoyed your rain dear self. Now brazen yourself to deal with the after coming mud. Be it a mud flood or worse. Brave it. Don't point the fingers to others.

Ya Rabb, indeed this slave of Yours has transgressed and wasted part of her life. Please forgive her sins and protect her from foolishness and ignorance.  Grant her the strength and perseverance to seek for Your Blessings and forgiveness and stay away from things that bring forward Your wrath. Indeed, she is among those who are at loss if You don't.

#sickheart
#slapmyself
#wakeupfromignorance

فَأَلْهَمَهَا فُجُورَهَا وَتَقْوَاهَا

And inspired it [with discernment of] its wickedness and its righteousness,

قَدْ أَفْلَحَ مَنْ زَكَّاهَا

He has succeeded who purifies it,

وَقَدْ خَابَ مَنْ دَسَّاهَا

And he has failed who instills it [with corruption].

(  الشمس  ٨-١٠ )

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