Starry nights

Bismillah


Have you ever feel bored seeing the sky at night full of stars?
Not me.
I can never get enough of them.
There are nights I would long to see them.
There are nights I am happy and delighted and feel very grateful to see them. Watching those bright stars are definitely mesmerizing, calming. Stunningly beautiful. Literally so.

HOwever, there would be times when there were tears coming down my cheek because those stars reminded me of my beloved ones, ohana. I wish the would see the amazing sight too. I hope they are as bright too, no matter how everything else is dark around them.
I will be praying that the Creator of such beauty would protect those beloved to me.

I wonder how much have I done to make sure I will get into Jannah that has unimaginable beauty for eternity and how much have I done to make sure those around me would be with me then. Maybe we are apart now. But always, in our prayers, till Jannah.

O Allah, grant us Your mercy, blessings and forgiveness.

I miss the night when I left Cappadocia, it was graced by such a beautiful sky full of stars <3

and this was one night before that :) it was raining. 

#melancholy
#flyingbackhome
#Turkeytrip2018

@1847H 180318

Read More

The Eyes of a Talisman

Bismillah

"Hanya jauhari mengenal manikam"

Familiar with the idiom? It is true indeed. But no matter how often I encountered such situations (that proves the above idiom); I would still be surprised. 

During our tour in Cappadocia, we are brought to a carpet factory(Actually, it is more than a factory. It is an institute that keeps the carpet-weaving industry alive; an institute that recruits the masters to teach the younger generations and also providing a place for them to sell their own masterpieces (very beautiful pieces! Seeing is believing). After the tour around the institution, we were brought into their gallery that is full of amazing pieces; of various sizes, designs, colours, types and fine quality. And being a forgetful person, I always need to repeat my questions (of what type those carpets are: wool/ silk/ cotton/ combination of any). And the uncle would tell me the answer just by having a glance at the piece I was pointing. In awe, I could not help but to ask "How could you tell just by glancing at it?". And he replied with a humble smile: "I've been working in this industry for 20 years and these are the only things I need to be expert in. Unlike you, you need to keep on updating yourself, expanding your knowledge, learning new skills and technologies. This is my day in and day out job, that's why it is easy for me". I don't know why, but somehow his smile and statement gave me some sort of motivation to me =)

May I become the expert in my field too; and exert such passion and diligence in my work. Thank you pakcik! (and sorry I didn't get your name. Jazakallahu khairan kathira pakcik)

#inspired

#Cappadocia

#Turkeytrip2018

@1903H 18032018

Read More

Believe

Bismillah

Have you ever heard of the saying 'People will only believe what they wanted to believe? 
No? 
Oops. It's okay =) You now have heard about it. Hehe. I first heard about this a long time ago. Probably during high school. Maybe history lessons. Hehe. Maybe. And I have always thought about it. And it's true. It's really true. Me included. It is hard to believe something when it is against something what we have already believed in. Some sort of internal debate la kot kan. Which one is true? A or B? How can A be true when all this while you know it is B for SURE. One thing we always forget is that A and B could both be true. Difference point of view would change how A and B looks like. But oh well, how often are we bothered about others point of view? #pointstoponder

I hardly been on the other side (defendant; chewah, tetiba teringat cerita ID- Innocent Defendant <3 <3) and always, at this side (defendant side) truth hurts a lot. You know why, because people refused to believe what you know is the truth; because they already have their 'portion' of truth which I suppose is more than sufficient for them. Ain't it? And it hurts even even even more when these people, these people are your very own kin. And ummm yeah, I am writing this because I am so upset, full of rage and sadness, and disappointment. Hahaha. It seems my tears need no trigger now. Good moisturization for my eyes though. And somehow, I am reminded of these two things: 

1) Story of the prophet Joseph a.s. : 
The story that depicts the beauty of patience. Beautiful patience. Allahu. O Lord, grant me and my family such beautiful patience. For we are weak and small if not for whatever strength and ability You have granted us. 

2) One of the statements in Munyatul Musolli (I haven't finished this; but only heard part of early explanations for this book). And one of the things that I really remembered was: A good ruler is a blessings for the people (Because that book was dedicated to a ruler; so the author included advice and reminders for the ruler). Yes, it was a reminder for the ruler. But it is also to remind the people that good people deserve good King/ruler. If all duties to the Lord, the Prophets and to the Deen are fulfilled, why won't your Lord grant you such blessings (a good ruler). So that makes me ponder, did I lack in fulfilling my responsibilities to anyone? Did I refuse to believe someone when s/he is telling the truth? Did I shut down someone when s/he tried to ask for what is right and to know what is wrong? Did I turned my back to anyone who deserves my respect? Did I refused to acknowledge someone who deserves more than that? Am I looking down on someone or his/her opinion or thoughts or advices or suggestions just because I think s/he is no better than me? Did I ever thought or assume that someone is not good just because of who her/his family members or parents are? Did I? Because that is what I feel is happening. My beloved is being misjudged. Our voices unheard. We are made distant as if we had burnt down the bridge but we had always left the door open (Not the had(at least for me)). Did I ever look down on someone's dad or referring someone such as "Ni ikut ayah dia la tu" because now I feel that my dad's pride is being trampled upon. Is it because of my action? My words? Or perhaps even my thoughts or assumptions? 

Alahai dunia, peritnya kamu ini!

I am sorry world. So sorry. If I have ever done anything wrong, if I have ever hurt you, if I have ever not fulfill my duties or responsibilities, please forgive me. Please forgive me. Please forgive me.

2254H 21032018

#life

Read More

Kekuatan itu.

Have I ever told you that I always have this over-thinking problem. Imagining this. Imagining that. Anticipating this and that too. And as what the term (overthinking) describes, less than one percent of all those actually happened.

So this was what I thought of the other day.

Somehow I was in the midst of conversation with my bosses (consultant included), I couldn’t remember exactly what was the topic, but I remembered who(does this matter to begin with?) and I wasn’t sure what had happened but then my boss said: “whoaaaa nak mati ke jawab macam tu?”. And somehow my reply was even more surprising: “kenapa nak takut boss? Setiap hari saya doa moga diberikan kekuatan untuk menjalani hari tersebut. Dah banyak hari saya rasa macam nak mati je tapi tiap-tiap pagi Allah bangunkan saya untuk teruskan hidup”.

I have no idea how I came up with that, and I bet I don’t have the guts to actually say that to my boss. Hehehe. But that really made me ponder. Why did I say that? And indeed, I beg for strength and patience everyday for living is freaking exhausting. 

Dan disebabkan kekuatan itu, saya masih di sini sekarang. Dan saya masih saya. Setinggi-tinggi pujian buat Ilahi yang Maha Kuasa dan Perkasa. 

Dalam kesedihan, ada cuitan yang menggembirakan.

Dalam kesunyian, hadir sapa dan suara yang menceriakan.

That someone’s smile.

Someone’s joke.

Someone who’s asking because he or she is concerned.

Relaxing drive which untangles your confused thoughts.

Questions which lead you to answers.

Thoughts that make you think.

Senja yang menakjubkan.

Matahari yang tidak pernah penat menyinar.

Langit cantik yang tidak pernah tidak menenangkan.

Lautan tenang yang hanya dengan membayangkannya dapat menggembirakan.

Senyuman sahabat yang hanya dengan mengingatinya mengukir senyuman dirimu sendiri.

Dan seterusnya.

And this list is not exhaustive.

Alhamdulillah.

Thank you Allah.

Please make me and the people around me among grateful people and contented.

For all the blessings are from You and to You we shall return.

Jangan sekali-kali menarik rahmat dan barakah-Mu. Limpahkan kami dengan kesabaran dan kekuatan untuk menjalani kehidupan ini dengan sebaik-baiknya.

Allahu, sesungguhnya hati ini rindu :’(

I hope this post did not translate into negativity for you, it’s just a reminder for me to be grateful and to keep on pleading from my Lord.

#random

Read More

When it is all actually about you

Have you ever thought why you keep on living your days?

Going through the moments, good or bad, hard or smooth, lovely or upsetting, you still go through it.

Choice
Given a choice, how would you decide for which? Is it affected by others? Is it affected by convenience? Or is it actually just you and what you want or what you need.

And the options you open up to life, to others, were they the true available options? Or were they actually just compromises that you can make, be it huge or minute.

Hope

Accomplishment

Frustration.

In the end, you just find it hard to trust because when you do, you really give the whole of it.


#310717

Read More

The fog.

With the name of Allah, the most Beneficent, the most Merciful.


It had been long since I had ever written anything. Or perhaps since I took time to actually jot down the words that came across my mind. Maybe because it’s too overwhelming? Or maybe it’s just because I wanna let it out somehow. Whether or not did anyone bother, it doesn’t matter.

I moved here, to this place, for quite some time already, over a year actually, close to fifteen months to be exact. Beautiful place, wonderful people, nice food. Full stop. Ain’t that sound perfect already?
It is. But this ungrateful side of me always long for more. Somehow, you don’t feel like you fit in somehow. That you, trying so hard to be ‘included’ that automatically makes you ‘excluded’. So much of drama right?

And I thought that was all. My struggle stops there. At least that was what I thought. Until the fog is clearing off, and it dawned upon me now that this distance I thought I can handle is a bit to much. Way too much in fact. The fog that had been obscuring the view had actually done me good. People say that ignorance is a bliss. Indeed it is. I tried to clear off the fog and it kind of backstabbed me now. Way too metaphorical ain’t it? Purposely made it that way.

Maybe I had forgotten about Al Wakeel and now He is trying to remind me of that.

O Allah, guide me to the right path, do not let me go astray. Grant me the patience to persevere through this life and bestow upon me the peace and the serenity, sakinah in which only You can place in our hearts.

People told me, if you never voice it out, no one would ever knew and give response to that.
But now I feel, words that were kept inside, could have given you more peace than spoken words in which you wish no one could’ve ever heard.

Beautiful patience is not simple.

Read More