Just a little bit of faith.

Do we know what we need to do? Or perhaps should do?

I have an upcoming exam in 18 days.

And I know very well I am supposed to prepare for it.

I want to pass. Very much.

But what had I done to increase my probability of such?

None.

I laid my plan 37 days ago of what I should revise and practice- so I would cover most of the topics, as an effort to pass.

But days had passed.

And little did I do.

I sulked. I truly sulked. I had to be honest.

I spent all of my energy and motivation just not to feel bad or sad. I had none left to carry out my plan. Basically it results in zero execution.

And in my attempt of feeling good – I carry out my other responsibilities: attending courses, going home and spending time with my family, going to work, doing the oncalls, meeting up with old friends. All that I love but at the same time I had wrongly used as excuses not to study.

And then I noticed that despite all the above, the people around me had faith in me. They believe in me. Not knowing I put in negligible amount of effort.

Do I still deserve that?

Please. Don't lose that little faith in me. 

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